Last night when I was about to sleep, Ara told me that he has a surprise for me. I am not really excited, because based on my experience, his surprise is not surprising, hmm. He then told me that he just got an email from someone who once hurting our (especially me) feeling and asked an apology from us. Oh. That’s a surprise then.
My heart beat a little faster as Ara showed me the attachment of the letter -too excited, curious and shocked.
I read the eight-pages letter from that person with a jittery feeling. I have been expecting this for so long- expecting that person to ask for an apology for what she did to us in the past. I am not a revengeful person, it is usually easy for me to forget unpleasant incidents with people who had hurt my feeling (or vice versa) as long as we talk and discuss about it with openhearted. But in this case, my relationship with this person seems to be already okay and swell where it is never gone right for me.
The incident had lasted over a year ago, but every single time I remember it, it is still driving me mad and anxious. This is also not a typical of me to hold a case for this long. I am a very straightforward person. I tell a person if I don’t like them doing this and that. And in this case, since there’s no indication from that person to want to talk about the incident, then I chose to pretend to be OK with this person in order to make everybody’s happy.
I read the second page, third page….and so on until the last page. Then, after reading, discussing,
and analyzing the letter with Ara, POOF!!! It’s gone! That undesirable feeling that has been shadowing my inner health all this time has finally disappeared. I had VERY RELIEVED! I described the feeling as a combination of this three feelings: like you just having labor after 9 months being pregnant + like you just holding your pee for five hours that you finally found a place to pee + like you just having orgasm after making love. You can imagine how relieved I am right? 😀 Forgiveness is very freeing.
Yes, it is not easy to forgive people who hurts your feeling, but the benefit of forgiveness is actually not for others but for ourselves.
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget -Szasz.
Thanks for making me a wiser person.