Why it is so hard for me to be FOCUS?

Every single morning, I wake up with different possessions in my mind.

One day, after spent a small reunion with Ocean alumnus in NYC,  I decided that I want to apply for a scholarship to be a graduate student in Columbia University for Climate and Society.

The other day, after reading about how peculiar it is to find a kopi luwak in Indonesia nowadays, I want to be a Kopi Luwak entreprenur.

Another day, knowing my endless excitement of  hunting (and bargaining) a second hand items, I simply just want to run my one of a kind little vintage shop.

Some other day, when I want to have another three kids and spend as many times to be with those precious ones, I just want to be a stay-at-home-mother slash food photographer slash movie maker slash online shopper owner.

And today, when I read my mother biography and blog walking then read this awesome blog , I decided that I want to be a lecturer.

*a long sigh*

I think I haven’t over my quarter-life crisis am I? Though I know that it doesn’t have to be this HARD to be focus if I know what EXACTLY my passion is. The thing is sad thing is that I don’t know! I passionate about many things but I don’t master those things (yet).

*another long sigh*

Oh well. I will just keep what Ara said several times:

Temukan legenda pribadi kamu. Dan kalau kamu membutuhkan 5 tahun untuk menemukannya, ya kamu harus siap menempuhnya. Kalo 10 tahun? ya udah, jalanin aja! Demi 50 tahun ke depan yang lebih baik, apa artinya 5-10 tahun?

Meaning that IF I have to pass the next five years juggling with my own thoughts for what I want to become, then be it! After that (after the loooongg way to search what the best profession suits me), there (hopefully) will be a great 50 years for me to become ‘someone’ who master something(s).

Expectedly,  it won’t be that long. But whenever, by that time, I will be ready to embrace my passion with a helluva smile in my face. Until then, let’s just be a great mother for the cutest baby on earth, Malik Azka Sagara Hakim 😀

Thank you, You, who always be there and supporting me. Hugs. With all my heart.


2 thoughts on “Focus

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